


Clarity

by princess_evans_addict



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Captasha - Freeform, F/M, Love, Romance, capwidow - Freeform, romanogers - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-08
Updated: 2016-03-08
Packaged: 2018-05-25 12:47:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6195685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princess_evans_addict/pseuds/princess_evans_addict
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What started as an attempt to help her turned into something neither of them could control.</p><p>Based on the song Clarity by Zedd.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Clarity

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Romanogers one shot on this site, so please be gentle if this sucks. I hope you like it!

“Why haven’t you asked her out yet?” A familiar voice asks from in front of him.

He glances up with a smile. “Hey, Nat.” He decides not to ask how she got into his apartment, mostly because he knows she won’t answer him.

Her arms remained crossed, the calculating gaze never wavering. “Why haven’t you asked her out yet?” She repeats.

He sighs, sitting up and crossing his legs so he can see her better. Usually she doesn’t interrupt him until after he’s finished his sit ups, but today she looks as though she’s on the warpath, keeping her blue-green glare on him. “I told you, she’s not my type.” There was nothing wrong with Kailey; he just wasn’t interested in her. Frankly, he wasn’t interested in anyone, but his best friend conveniently forgets and tries to set him up with every single girl in Avengers Headquarters.

She sighs, relaxing a fraction, and Steve notes the split second flash of relief in her eyes. “Then what about Lacey?”

He lies back down, hands behind his head as he prepares to continue. “No.”

“Carmen?”

When he sits up, she shoots her a warning glare before lowering himself again. “No.”

She pauses, thinking. “Sharon?”

“If you wouldn’t mind, I’m trying to train here,” He lowers himself again, and Natasha plants a bare foot on his stomach, making him look up at her.

“There’s nothing wrong with dating,” She says quietly. “She would want you to.”

He frowns, one hand lifting to hold her ankle gently. “I’m not thinking about Peggy. I’m happy without seeing someone.”

Her eyes narrow. “Steve-”

He rolls suddenly, dragging her to the floor with him, and then rolls so he’s on top of her, pinning her to the mat. “I’m happy here, Natalia.”

She glares at him, forcing down the warmth in her chest at his use of her birth name. “Don’t call me that,” She easily twists, and then she’s pinning him down, hands holding his wrists beside his head as he grins up at her. “And you deserve to be happy.”

“So do you.” She pauses, a little off guard, and he flips, twisting her wrists behind her back and holding them there as he presses against her. They stare at each other a long moment, and in a quiet voice he says, “You always hold your past against you.”

“Let go of me.”

He doesn’t break eye contact. “You’re always running from something, but you’re free.”

Having enough, she uses her legs to knock him off of her, not thinking about how he could have easily fought back had he not chosen to release her wrists, and she rises gracefully to her feet, moving towards the door and grabbing her sandals on her way.

“Natasha,” Steve calls quietly.

She pauses for a split second, not enough to stop her but enough for him to see it, and walks out without looking back.

…

Steve sighs, stepping into his living room with his mind on Natasha. Granted, he never should have said those things to her knowing how she feels about her past, but if she can’t learn to see how much has changed… how happy she could be if she would just let herself… He shakes it off, padding into the living room and forcing the red haired beauty from his mind. Turning the news on low and deciding the best thing he could do is distract himself, he picks up his sketchbook and turns to new page, losing himself in his thoughts.

Natasha needs to learn how to be happy. She’s beautiful, deadly, and brilliant… He glances down at his page to see the outline of Natasha doing ballet, something he walked in on weeks ago that is still ingrained in his memory. He sighs harshly before flipping the page, frustrated with himself. This isn’t the first time he’s found himself drawing her, and he knows why.

“How about Maria?”

He jumps, glancing up to see Natasha leaning against the doorway. She keeps her face emotionless, but he can read the sadness and hesitance in her eyes.

He quickly shuts his book. “Hill?” He asks, keeping his voice light. “I don’t think anyone can handle Hill without losing a limb.”

Her lips twitch into a smile, making his chest warm. “Are you busy?” She asks, glancing at the abandoned sketchbook on the end table.

He shakes his head. “I’m sorry. I had no business bringing up your past during training.”

She moves smoothly, walking closer and pausing halfway to him. “You’re fine, Steve. I shouldn’t have brought up Peggy.”

He rises, reaching her in three steps. “You’re fine. I’ve moved on from her. I’m more worried about you.”

She shifts uncomfortably. “You don’t need to worry about me.”

“I want to,” He moves even closer, staring down at her with barely a centimeter between them. “Do you want to know why I haven’t asked those girls out?”

She swallows carefully. “No.”

“I love you, Natasha.” He says firmly. She shakes her head, taking a step back, but in a split second he grips her arms, pulling her against his chest and not granting her escape.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Natasha says firmly, but he can see the conflict in her eyes. “You don’t know what I am. We can’t work.”

“I’m not letting you go.” He catches her gaze, keeping her captive. “I know about the nightmares, Natalia.”

She freezes, swallowing carefully. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She says calmly.

A muscle in his jaw ticks. “I know you have nightmares about the Red Room. I know you think you’re a monster. I know you’re the bravest woman I’ve ever known. You think you don’t deserve to live a happy life, but you deserve it the most.”

“I’m not like you, Steve.” She says coldly.”I’m not good. I’m not innocent and pure. Everything I have done has been to hurt and destroy people. I’m toxic.”

Steve’s had enough. He tugs her closer and lowers his head, pressing their lips together.

She sighs, melting against him, and he’s well aware that the groan that escaped was his, but he doesn’t care, too focused on the woman in his arms. Her lips are soft, willingly giving him control that Natasha Romanoff rarely gives, and his chest burns at the thought that she trusts him enough to let him dominate her this way. The warmth spreads through his veins, and before he’s thinking he grips her hips, lifting her and carrying her into his bedroom, feeling her legs wrap around his waist. Soon he’s lying her back gently, leaving the drug-like taste of her lips in favor of exploring her sweet-smelling skin, the softness making him growl.

“Steve,” She breathes, gripping his hair, and he lifts up so he can see her face.

“You’re everything, Natalia.” He says, not breaking eye contact. “You’re my remedy. You can try to walk away, you can try to hide, but you’re a part of me now.”

“You’re part of me too,” She says quietly, seeing him relax a fraction with relief. “But I wish I didn’t need you.”

He studies her for a long moment. “You’d rather hurt alone than be with me.”

“We’re going to crash, Steve,” She says firmly, sounding almost angry. “An uncontrollable disaster waiting to happen no matter what we choose.”

He strokes her cheeks gently with his thumbs. “Then we chose to be happy. We write our own story, Natasha. We don’t have to be a disaster.”

She thinks, her eyes locked on his. She’s already drowning in him- she always was, though it was easier to ignore everything before he realized the attraction than to succumb to the inferno inside her.

If he keeps talking, she’ll never be able to leave.

“This is insanity,” She whispers finally.

Steve only smiles beautifully. “You’re my clarity.”


End file.
